


the last standing

by regrettably



Category: JJCC (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 13:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regrettably/pseuds/regrettably
Summary: Nobody picks Hadon or Chanyul.





	the last standing

Somewhere sort of off camera at the Produce 101 training center, filming of the contestants beginning to work on their routines has generally halted for food and a quick bathroom break.  

 

There are trainees waiting around in ridiculously long lines just for the chance to pee or grab a quick bite of something that isn’t only plain rice, there are some excited whispers from the members of Jang Moonbok’s group, some of the dudes are grumbling about the quality of the kimbap, a couple of guys are expressing their annoyance at how bossy Noh Taehyun is in hushed voices, and on the sidelines of all of that Choi Hadon is leaning against a wall and staring at the floor and trying very hard not to cry.

 

He’s not going to cry.  He won’t.

 

This show has taken everything else from him, but he won’t let anybody have the satisfaction of watching him cry.

 

Even if he really feels like it.

 

Because even in all of his years as a trainee, all his years as an idol, where every single day he’s forced to do something degrading, he’s never been as humiliated as he was today.

 

It’s one thing for nobody to vote for him.

 

But for none of the other contestants to like him, a  _ debuted idol _ , enough to pick him?  

 

To have to stand there for what felt like forever, in front of everyone, and have a bunch of fucking teenagers look at him and decide that he’s not good enough to be with them?

 

That put years of stupid outfits and cringey fanmeetings with barely any fans and painfully faked aegyo and constant submission to Eddy to shame.

 

And to make it all somehow even worse, he had to stand there beside Chanyul, watch him bite his lips and look at the ground and clasp his hands tight together to try and stop them from shaking, and he couldn’t do anything.

 

He’d told Daehwan right before they left that he’d do his best to look out for Chanyul, Chanyul who may be his hyung, but who is also sweet and good and maybe a little dumb and who definitely doesn’t deserve to be on this awful show.  

 

And then Hadon couldn’t even manage that.  All he could do was stand there and watch Chanyul suffer.  

 

And for what?

 

Nothing.

 

It’s all been for nothing.

 

Now they’re in a team of rejects, a team full of people that even the other contestants thought weren’t worth having.  If the other guys don’t even like them, who’s going to vote for a team of leftovers? 

 

Nobody.

 

Nobody will give a shit about Mansae Group Two.  

 

Nobody’s voted for them from the beginning, it’s not going to change now.

 

Everyone; Joonyoung, Youngjin, Daehwan, Eddy, even in some ways Prince Mak, all of the guys were counting on them, but they couldn’t even manage to get screentime, much less actual votes from actual people.

 

All they got was laughed at, and felt sorry for, and told again and again and again that they weren’t good enough and maybe everyone’s right, maybe they  _ aren’t _ good enough, maybe Hadon isn’t good enough because- 

 

“Sancheo- uh, Hadon…!”  Someone lays a hand on his shoulder, withdraws it abruptly, and only one person on this whole show would almost call him by his stage name, and Hadon tears his eyes away from the ground and looks up at the nervous twitchy face of Kim Chanyul.

 

Hadon stares blankly at his bandmate for a second, has a vague thought about how weird it is that they spend so much time next to each other every day but almost never have any time relatively alone like this, and Chanyul stares back until he lurches forward like he’s suddenly remembered something.

 

“Here!” Chanyul awkwardly shoves one of the two bottles of water he’s holding into Hadon’s hands, “I… uhm, I got you a drink…”

 

“Uh, thanks.” Hadon straightens up a bit, tries to un-hunch his shoulders as he gives Chanyul a quirky little half-smile that doesn’t reach his eyes at all.

 

“Yeah, no problem…” Chanyul looks like he wants to say more but he trails off, instead leaning against the wall next to Hadon and drinking from his own water bottle and staring with unseeing eyes at the throng of trainees jostling for food in the room in front of them.

 

Hadon doesn’t say anything either, doesn’t have anything to say that could make anything better.

 

And then Chanyul keeps drinking his water, ends up drinking it way too fast, gives himself hiccups, starts to get all flushed, wrings his hands anxiously around his empty water bottle, all while inching subtly closer and closer to Hadon.

 

When he gets close enough that their arms brush against each other Chanyul licks his lips and opens his mouth but he still doesn’t get any words to come out and Hadon tries to help.

 

“Hyung-”

 

“I wanted to die!”  Chanyul blurts out suddenly, cutting Hadon off, “W-when we were standing up there… and… and nobody was picking us… and everyone was just staring…”

 

Hadon knows, he felt exactly the same way.  “Chanyul-”

 

“I j-just… I wished I could die right then… just so nobody would stare at me anymore…” Chanyul continues, face flushing harder than before, “And… uh… this is stupid but… I-I… I really thought I was going to, uhm… cry, or something…”

 

Chanyul pauses here, dips his head in embarrassment, Hadon clutches his water bottle tight and gently nods his head for Chanyul to continue.

 

“But… uh… well… I kept looking over at you, and…” A crunching noise, Chanyul accidentally crushing his empty water bottle with his hands, “...and I was happy I wasn’t alone?”

 

Hadon’s eyes widen a little, he stares at Chanyul’s hands, clinging to that water bottle like it’s a lifeline.  

 

“I… I… I know you wouldn’t have let me stand there by myself…  Even if you got picked… y-you… you wouldn’t have let me stand there alone… you would have made sure that… that someone picked me too…”

 

Chanyul shakes a little, swallows so loud that Hadon can hear it.

 

“So… uhm… I guess, uh, if it’s okay, if you need to t-talk… I’m here for you, o-okay?”  Chanyul shakes his head real quick, gives a short awkward laugh, “Or you don’t have to talk, uhm, if you don’t want to!  Just… j-just… I want you to know that I’m here…”

 

Maybe every other contestant on this show looked at Chanyul, shy stuttery nervous Chanyul, and thought he wasn’t good enough, but Hadon’s looking at him right now and thinking that he’s got more good in him than everyone else in this room put together.

 

“Hey, hyung?”  Hadon asks quietly.

 

“Y-yeah?” Chanyul nods, miserable, cheeks tinged pink.

 

Hadon takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and leans into Chanyul.

 

He presses his face into Chanyul’s shoulder, and Chanyul tenses at first, but when Hadon doesn’t move anywhere Chanyul sort of wraps an arm around Hadon and places a hand on Hadon’s lower back.  

 

He doesn’t hold him close enough to seem like they’re hugging, but almost.

 

And Chanyul is warm, and he is good, and he’s a little shaky, but he is nice.  

 

Hadon does not cry, even though he wants to, but for a few moments he does let Chanyul share his eight years of hurt and humiliation.

 

“Thank you.”  Hadon murmurs against Chanyul’s chest, and Chanyul nods, his chin ruffling Hadon’s hair.

 

Normally Hadon would be worried about something like this, worried that someone would see them standing there like that, worried what they might think.

 

But right now Hadon doesn’t care.

 

Because he knows nobody else here cares about Choi Hadon leaning against Kim Chanyul.

 

Nobody else cares about Choi Hadon or Kim Chanyul at all.

 

But Hadon feels Chanyul’s trembling fingers pressing into his back and his quick little warm breaths against his scalp, and he knows that they at least care about each other.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ...please love jjcc
> 
> also as usual everything good in this story is due to bitterkitty(@aff) and everything awful (so like all of it) is my fault


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